And here we step into February. At least that is what it has felt like to me. How is your 2012 so far?

I hate the idea of New Year’s Resolutions. There is so often talk of them being broken, or making the same ones over and over, that the concept has lost its real significance. So instead of making “New Year’s Resolutions” each year I think of a theme that encompasses everything I want the year to be.

In taking the time to reflect over 2011 and where I was at with everything and where I want to be, I made the decision for my theme for 2012 – My Journey, My Way.

The reason I choose this theme over any others is that I have felt the last few years I have been doing a lot of things (mostly in businesses) the way I thought I was supposed to. In some respects it has worked really well, and I have been very blessed. On the other hand, some things have just not felt quite right to me and this year I give myself permission to trust my instincts – to make things happen MY way.

With this new attitude, theme, this last month of January has been amazing. Three events are really standing out for me that I want to share with you.

A friend, she is a leadership coach too, and I rented a condo on the Oregon beach for two days this past month with the intention to do a mini workshop together. We had the intention that we would go to a beautiful place and be inspired by all that was surrounding us. Instead we were smack-dab in the middle of a huge storm. Winds whipped up over 100 miles an hour, and we completely lost power the second day.

This made our two-day workshop even better than we could have imagined. Instead of being distracted by activities calling our attention away from what we set out to accomplish, we were locked away with no interruptions – designing what we wanted in our lives and in our businesses over the next three years. We took each other through processes, coached each other, asked the hard questions, and gave each other total support. It was awesome. The picture at the top of this email is one that I took that weekend.

I have made strides in a couple of other areas as well. The next weekend, with the help of my husband, I totally cleaned out and redesigned my office. I put effective systems in place and made my office feel like a nicer place to be.

I also joined Weight Watchers with a close friend.  We put goals in place, rewards when we each hit mini goals along the way, and have agreed that when we do hit our BHAG goal we are going on a shopping spree in New York City. How fun does that sound?

These are just a few of many really great things that have been happening already this year for me personally…

Lessons learned:

I have noticed a pattern; it really is powerful to have friends, loved ones, and someone that will, and can, support me in my success.

It truly is important to have a vision where you want to go. And taking the time, from the viewpoint of that vision, looking backwards on what it will take to get you there. This helps you put the right steps in place.

I learned how powerful a WAYSMART GOAL is. (Ask me about what this is; I would love to share it with you.)

That the environment we place around us, the people, our offices, our homes, and the way we feel in them is an important factor that at times we overlook.

And, my biggest lesson is that I get to be ME with all my faults and my wonderful strengths. I am the best when I use my voice.

So, what did you pick for your theme this year? What have you put in place to help you succeed? And, what have you noticed so far?

I would love to hear from you.  Share your story below in the comments.

Wishing you the best always,
Corinne McElroy

At times, all of us use assertive, aggressive or passive communication.  Most of the time, assertive communication is best.  Assertive communication is characterized by using “I statements” instead of “you statements.”  Assertiveness means taking responsibility for your own feelings, and not blaming others.

Imagine a scenario where you’d like to request that the other person arrive on time for your meeting, and they have a history of being late.

An aggressive communicator would say, “You’d better be on time, or I’ll just leave.  I’m sick of waiting around for you.”
A passive communicator would probably not say anything, and would get angry when the other person arrived late again.
An assertive communicator would say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been late quite a few times in the past.  I would like you to arrive promptly at 9:00, as I have only an hour to spend on our meeting.”

When you practice assertiveness, you will experience more effective and enjoyable communications.  It’s not necessary to do it perfectly all the time; just take each conversation one at a time and assertiveness will begin to come naturally to you.

Come join us to learn more tips on this free interactive Tele class Nov 9th. Click here to sign up

Wishing you the best always,
Corinne McElroy

Listening is one of the most important skills you can master, for both business and personal life success.
Listening also takes effort, and doesn’t happen automatically.  Many barriers get in the way of our ability to listen to one another. 

Some of the worst are:
1.    Making Assumptions about the Other Person
When we tell others how they feel or what they mean, we shut down the conversation.  The word “you” frequently causes a defensive reaction.  Instead, reflect what the other person said by saying something like “It sounds like . . .” or “If I understand what you’re saying . . .” Then, be open to them letting you know if you really understood or not; some clarification may be necessary.

2.    Mental Chatter
It is possible to look like you’re listening even when you’re not.  However, to truly listen, you need to do more than just put on your “listening face”.  You must turn off your mental chatter and focus on the other person.  Stop thinking about your to-do list.  Do not think ahead to what you will say when they stop talking.

3.    Interrupting
As a person is speaking or thinking, you cut him or her off to present your line of thinking.  This behavior clearly conveys a lack of respect for the other person’s point of view.

What are some of the other roadblocks you can think of?  Share your thoughts and ideas below.

If you’ve ever communicated when you were angry (and who hasn’t?) then you probably know that it is fraught with dangers.  While it may feel good to “vent” or “get it off your chest”,  it does a lot of damage to your relationship with the other person.  Seldom is it worth the short-term feelings of vindication we get from blowing off steam.

The next time you are angry, remember that you are better off taking a time-out and communicating at a time when you are calm.

You might use one of the following phrases:
“I’m upset right now and I need to take a break.”
“This has made me angry and I need to cool off for a few minutes.”
“Can we talk about this later, when I’ve had a chance to calm down?”

Then give yourself the time you need to feel calm, cool, and ready to communicate.  You will be much more effective, and you won’t damage your relationship in the heat of the moment

Imagine how much more enjoyable our communications could be if we learned how to respond non-defensively. Come join us on a free tele class Nov 9th Click here

To your success,
Corinne McElroy

What is the value of a coach? The value of having a coach in your corner is no different whether you’re a professional athlete, in the pursuit of a career path, or looking for answers to balance the various venues of your personal life.

As I watched the US Open today, without exception, the coach of every major player was there in the stands to support the efforts of their athlete/client. The same principle and purpose follows true in having a coach in your life…whether a coach for your business, or one to assist you in finding balance in your life, or having one to help navigate the seas of transition we often experience. The message is so simple, yet so profound; to get out of complacency and achieve the most from the efforts in your life; the key is having a coach in your corner who holds the space for your greatness! Expect the best!!

If you are pouring your heart out to your boss and she keeps glancing at her watch, do you believe she’s interested in what you’re saying?

If the customer service rep says, “I really wish I could help you,” with a frown and his arms folded firmly across his chest, do you believe him?

Research has discovered that 55% of the message we communicate is through our body language!  Facial expression, posture and gestures actually say more to the other person than the words we speak.

Surprisingly, words only account for 7% of the message we send.

(The remaining 38% of what we are communicating is expressed through the tone, pitch and volume of one’s voice.)

Next time you have something important to say, consider not just your words,  also the message your body and voice are communicating.  When you send conflicting messages through your verbal and non-verbal cues, the non-verbal message wins every time.

To your communication success,
Corinne McElroy

I have just returned from an amazing week in Las Vegas. Many of you know that Las Vegas is my hometown, and that I still have many friends and family members in that area. While visiting them is always a wonderful experience; that was not my primary motivation for this particular pilgrimage.

My youngest daughter, my baby, just celebrated her 21st birthday – and of course we had to do it in style by heading to our old stomping grounds of Las Vegas! I know what some of you must be thinking  – that it is hard for a parent to see their youngest all grown up, old enough to buy a drink on her own and to press her luck at the casino. Of course, in some ways it is always hard when things change, yet I have to tell you… I am so proud of Breanna and the beautiful young lady she has become.

I am really excited about this newest phase of our relationship and I cannot wait to see what this confident, amazing young woman chooses to do with her life next!

That being said, we also have some exciting news to officially release to you that relates to the same type of growth, change, and excitement that I just celebrated with Breanna. Edge of Change is proud to welcome our newest team member, leadership training guru and coach extraordinare -

Mr. Kent Ferguson!

Many of you may know Kent from his tenure at Rapport Leadership International where he served as a Leadership Breakthrough One and Leadership Breakthrough Two trainer. His 16 + years as a trainer for Rapport taught him that deep down all people yearn to find a balance in their lives between the person they are now and the person they want to become, as well as between their personal and professional obligations. Click here to read Kent’s full bio.

Please join us in giving Kent a big, enthusiastic welcome to the Edge of Change team.

I know that I am over the moon to have such an amazing person working with me once again!

Make it a great day!

Your coach and partner,
Corinne McElroy

Asking questions can be one of the best ways to enhance a conversation, and the wrong questions can actually hinder conversation.  Not all questions are created equal!  Open-ended questions are friendlier and more effective than closed-ended questions.  They usually start with “What” or “How”.

Here are some examples of how to change closed-ended questions into open-ended questions:

Instead of “Did you like it?” you could ask, “What did you like about it?” or “How did you like it?”
Instead of “Are you upset?” you could ask “What’s on your mind?” or “How are you feeling?”
Instead of “Would you like to do something else?”  or you could ask “What would you like to do?”
Instead of ” Do you  have any questions?” you could ask “What questions do you have?”

Using open-ended questions requires effort.  However, the effort is well worth it, especially in a tense situation.  The next time you are in a tense conversation, make your questions open-ended, and watch the dynamic change.  You will have a much better conversation, and the other person will appreciate your communication skills!

Here is a quick audio tip for you  Click here

Wishing you the best always,
Corinne McElroy