I am noticing that a lot of conversations with friends and clients are around the topic of boundaries, creating and establishing them.
One woman came to her coaching session very frustrated.. She is a CEO of a large financial company. Her frustration was as she steps into the office first thing in the morning her team starts bombarding her with questions and problems.
I asked her… how does this affect you.?
Her response… I get upset, I yell at them, tell them to go figure it out themselves and at times even slam my office door.
I asked her… how does this impact the team?
Her response… My staff doesn’t believe I really care about them or what they are working on, that I am more important then they are, and they think I am a total bitch.
“OUCH”
I asked her… what do you need from your team?
She came up with that she really only needed 15 minutes to put down her purse, get a cup of coffee and take a breath before she took on the tasks of her work day.
Most of us have never been taught how to handle or create boundaries. All we know is we are having an emotional reaction of some kind to something.
So how do we move from effect to cause?
There is a trust factor that comes into play here. Sharing our needs with others then trusting they will respect, honor and understand.
If we do not share with others what our boundaries are we can not expect them to understand when they have crossed them and why we are upset.
How about you… What boundaries are you needing to establish and share with others?
Share your thoughts in the comments below…
Wishing you the best always,
Corinne McElroy
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I know what you mean about boundary setting. This is something my husband and I have learned to do with compassion (most of the time!) around the house. I have learned to say “Thanks for your help on that problem, but I just need to look at it myself for awhile now.” Or he says to me, “I will help you with that in about 15 minutes, when I am done reading this.” We know to trust each other, and give space, knowing that if we give space we are more likely to get it the next time we need it. It has been a great relationship tool for us. We are not perfect at it, but keeping compassion in our hearts helps us remember to use those tools.
Thanks for the reminder!
Karen Rainsong